Drunk & Disorderly

YES I'm still in Thailand and am doing my utmost to convince myself that it's time to move on, I plan on grabbing a bus to Ko Chang tomorrow but I've made many such plans and they all seem to lead back to bars. The last few days have been a cocktail of laziness with my daily itinerary consiting of waking up well after lunch, eating a massive english breakfast and then stumbling down to the beach. I had to move hotels as the one I was staying in was all booked out so I left my bag behind the counter (god damn that bag weighs alot) and set out to find a new pad. Scored a room above an English pub which isn't the best situation as beer is my kryptonite and every drop weakens my resolve to ship out of Thailand. Thankfully the pub has that close-knit no outsider sort of feel to it which many small pubs have so I haven't even drank there as the regulars don't exactly seem very friendly. The room is kickass though and I'm annoyed I wasted a week at the old place as it's the same price but is much more pimped out. One downside to the place is the pub shuts up at midnight and the front door gets locked up so if I wanna get in after midnight (which is every night) then I have to climb the dire-escape which is great fun when you're on the top story and drunk. I haven't managed to tumble down and break any limbs yet but I'm happy to sport btess on how soon it will be and what bones I'll snap.

I'm right down the street from the beach so I head there at about 2pm most days, pull up a deck-chair and spend the afternoon reading and eating club sandwiches...heh not a bad life really. The water is clear most days but has plenty of rubbish in it and I don't really swim there. I'm glad I didn't do any swimming as yesterday I saw an old white dude limp up to the water, drop his pants and urinate in the ocean in broad daylight...fuck that!. The beach strip is plain scary at night as it's populated by lady-boys and other women/beats of the night that try to accompany you home. Many of the ladyboys are mentally fucked up which is probably due to a mixture of hormones and not knowing whether to sit or stand when pissing. They're often quite aggressive but you gotta just let it slide as they're probably muai thai trained and there'd be nothing worse then getting your ass kicked by a ladyboy.

Before I forget I'd like to thank my colon of steel which despite ingesting some poor excuses for food has held up remarkable well and my stool samples are as solid as Portugals defence. Due to hanging out with Thai's most of the time I've been eating some pretty odd food and the majority of it is pretty fuckin' spicy. Last night at about 3am we headed to a Thai joint where your table has a hot plate and you cook up vegetables and all kinds of meat and it was really good. One of the girls with us had tried to go drink for drink with me and we'd gone through about 3-4 jugs and I "thought" she had done pretty well. That was until the uncooked meat arrived and her face went this horrible colour and she raced for the toilet and worshipped the porcellin god. Also been eating plenty of Tom Yum but they like it really spicy here but I'm actually pretty good with the hot stuff so I've been enjoying it. My fave place to eat is a joint called Greg's Diner and they do this all day breakfast that is perfect for a hangover. It consists of 2 eggs, bacon, sausages,roast potatoes, tomatoes, baked beans, toast, coffee and a glass of orange juice and is $5 aussie dollars...hell yeah!

The last few days I've been hangin' with a dude called Peter that I mentioned in my last update, he's been to Pattaya a number of times and showed me a few clubs that were pretty eye opening and proabably not blog safe to talk about heh. It's so easy to strike up conversation with girls over here and after chatting to a few at a cafe I was told that they lived at there bar. The bar closed at 1am and they had missed the curfew so could now not get back into the club until the morning. This meant they had no place to stay so being the kind hearted gentleman I am I offered to let all 3 ladies crash in my room which they accepted. The security guard at the fire escape stopped us and checked all the girls ID's then gave me a look that was either "you bloody pervert" or "you lucky bastard".

I actually said to my friends prior to leaving that my biggest fear was landing in thailand, finding some nice bars and then wasting the entire month drunk somewhere. Well so far my fears have been confirmed and I'm determined to leave over the weekend and explore the coast a bit before crossing into Cambodia so the next update "should" be free of bar hopping stories and devoid of beer and lesbanism. I'm pretty badly sunburnt at the moment and am pissed off that my Ipod so far has been useless, it holds a charge for less then 30 minutes and often takes a few minutes for a song to play so the 4 hour bus ride to Ko Chang should be fun. Tomorrow I'm going to a fund raiser for orphans organised by a bar I goto which is a day out at the beach for kids who have lost both parents so should be good fun and I can dazzle them with my old school frisbee skills!

Just on the subject of me looking different, a guy at the bar took me aside and told me that he wasn't sure to say anything or not but that he'd seen the girl I hang with (Kwan) out with another guy last week. I asked him what the guy looked like and he said he had glasses like me but had long hair and a goatee hahah.

Hope everyone is doing well back home, I got a call from ol' Jackal posing as Carl from Ctech asking me if I wanted a cup of tea which made me laugh. Have you boys booked your flights yet for Bali?

Photo's still to come, I lent my camera to Kwan as she was going to the pools with her mum so I just hope she doesn't take it down the aqua tubes etc!